“This for me, tho”

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Sometimes all you need is that extra half mile… Forget going the extra mile. Tonight I went an extra half mile on the treadmill, and I feel pretty darned good about myself.

I didn’t want to walk. At all. I was already in my PJs (big mistake) and all I wanted was to go pass out. Yes, at 6-7pm. I didn’t care. But, I thought about what I want, what I’m working towards and I decided I wasn’t giving up that easily.

Took a caffeine pill and cleaned up the kitchen. Felt a bit peppier and forced myself to go upstairs and change and put my shoes on. No turning back after that. Got on the treadmill. Decided I wasn’t going to just get my walk in, I was going to push myself.

I have a sign I made above my treadmill at home “sweating for the wedding” :

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Excuse the crude design – I am obviously not an artist. But, it does its job. Reminds me of one of my main motivation factors for walking and making this the time I actually get this weight off.

So I pushed. And I walked harder and faster.. And longer. I didn’t stop when I hit my requisite mile. I decided I was walking 1.25 miles. Then when I got to 1.25 miles I decided to keep pushing and walk 1.5 miles tonight. So that’s what I did.

Maybe I could have gone further, but my foot was going numb and my side was starting to cramp. I want to push it, not overdo it. So I slowed down and finished up at +1.6 miles. I think 34 minutes- which is by no means impressive, but considering I started walking again at like 1-2mph only, it’s an improvement for me. Which is what this is all about.

Of course now I feel really good about myself and like I’ve accomplished something today. Hit my step goal of 5000 steps today and it’s only 8pm. Wondering if I can hit 7500 today… May have to walk again later!

My first lifestyle coaching session went well today. A lot of basic questions: what meds are you taking, what and how much are you eating, etc. But- the nurse is going to set me up with a behavioral nurse to discuss my eating issues. She’s also hooking me up with a nutritionist. All of this for free. And she scheduled me for my next regular life coaching session.

So blessed to have so much support and so many resources available to me. I think that is a huge difference over some past attempts to lose weight. I felt more isolated. I wasn’t acknowledging all the underlying issues, either. Or I didn’t know how or where to turn. This time God is putting people in my life one after another to help push me towards my goals. I’ve never felt so supported in my whole life. That includes all of you who read and comment on my blog, too.

I started the blog as an accountability measure for myself. I didn’t want to give myself an option to fail this time. So I decided to put it all out there. I never expected to find such support when I started this. I’m so appreciative for all the positivity you all send my way! I hope I can do the same for others.

I am trying to spread the support around in my personal life, too. I’m being a cheerleader for a few friends who are also working to lose weight and get fit. I love that I can be there for others the way people are there for me. I really don’t think you can do this – especially on such a large scale and be able to maintain it- without a hell of a lot of support.

I’m feeling even more determined now and anxious to see progress. I can’t wait to weigh Friday and see what I did this week. Any loss right now would be welcome, especially since I know I haven’t been perfect this week. But I’m getting better and better and I’m dealing with my bad habits head on. I’m going to beat this.

I’m prepared this time not only for the physical challenge, which I’ve tackled before, but more importantly, I’m ready for the mental challenge. That’s the real struggle. I have to learn how to change my thinking and turn myself into my biggest cheerleader. This is for me.

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