Sans scale

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Well my old scale is definitely not working. Of course it takes a watch battery, instead of regular batteries so I’ve decided it’s just easier to buy a new one. But I don’t want to spend too terribly much money, since my old fitbit Aria stopped working after a few months and they never did anything about it.

But at the same time, I would like to be able to see body fat percentage, etc. So then I’m up to $60ish and for $130 I could get another Aria that automatically syncs to fitbit, which I already use.

So, for now, I have no scale. It’s driving me nuts not to be able to weigh. I thought about running to Walmart and getting a $20 scale, but I hate walmart and I couldn’t take myself into it. It’s not what I really want.

Meanwhile I am really worried. I don’t really think I could possibly be gaining weight right now. I’m not cheating, I’m eating clean and I’m really doing a great job. I am not working out daily, which my trainer challenged me to do.

I want to, but today I skipped. I did take the puppy for a longer walk, to get in a few steps. My trainer did say even if I’m waking the dog, it’ll work. But I didn’t go for 20 min, it was probably around 10. So maybe another walk before bed.

So I am fairly confident I have to be losing weight, but I miss being able to see confirmation of that. Plus it just makes me nervous. I need to ensure I am staying on track, I can’t go for very long without a scale.

I’m also getting frustrated with my size more lately. First, my wedding dress will be 2 sizes too small when it arrives- in the largest size they sell. Next, my wardrobe is really annoying me too. Or the lack thereof.

Not because I don’t have clothes- I have oodles and oodles of clothes. But barely any of them fit me. I’m currently a size 26-28 normal dress size (wedding dresses often run small). But it’s really hard to find anything in those sizes, let alone nice apparel.

I have a suit in a size 26 that i absolutely cannot fit in. At all. Other size 26 items I can wear, but suits are really challenging. I’m trying to get ahead in my career, and I want to start dressing the part. I need to be seen as a professional. But I can’t afford to go buy any more clothes and I can’t fit the ones I have.

If I could get down to a size 24, that’s still so huge, but it would be a great first step. I have several suits I could wear, among other tops and things. I would just have so many more options.

I was down to a size 22 last year. Seems to far away now. I can’t hardly imagine. But I have a bunch of clothes in that size, too, and it’s getting closer to “normal” plus sizes; not the super plus sizes.

I guess it’s good I’m getting so sick of everything, as long as I don’t let it depress me. I have to use it as motivation to keep going. I’ve been pleasantly surprised with how easily I’ve been sticking to my eating plan.

Maybe ordering the wedding dress made it real?

The dress is already 2 sizes to small, like I said. Then they can alter gowns down 2-4 sizes. (I can trade it in for greater or equal value, depending on how much I lose by February). But if I keep my original dress, I can conceivably lose 6 sizes by the wedding. That would put me down to a size 20 in regular dress sizes. Or around there, anyway.

That’s so close to just being an XL. I want to be able to shop in stores again and enjoy it like I used to. I’ve gotten so used to being forced to order everything online, I don’t even remember how much fun it used to be to go shopping with friends. And how much selection there was. Plus actually being able to try things on and see how they look before buying them, and try on different sizes.

I really want to get back there. All I see when I look in the mirror right now is my fat. I’ll notice my fat belly or the fat on my arms. Lately I’ve noticed how much fat is just sitting on my chest.

I’ve got to keep my focus and not get sidetracked anymore. Its so much nicer to feel proud about what you ate, instead of hating yourself for it and feeling guilty. I feel so accomplished that I’ve eaten clean for one week now.

I know that isn’t a long time, but it’s a start. And I’m going to keep going. I will get this weight off- and be a beautiful bride. 👰

4 thoughts on “Sans scale

  1. My scale also packed up a few weeks back. It was daunting as I weigh daily….but now I am kind of used to not having it around.

    YOu will make a beautiful bride no matter what your size, but I know you MUST fit into that dress and it seems you are well on your way to fitting it and probably needing to get it altered!

    I was a fat bride…and my dream is next year for our 10yr anniversary…to wear a stunning dress…maybe a size 12..and just kind of relive that moment. Not as formal, but something nice to celebrate my weight loss. I have 1yr and 1 months to make that a reality. Good luck to both of us!

    • I love your goal for your 10yr ann! You will be stunning, I’m sure!!!! And yes- I *must* fit in the dress! My goal is to be able to trade it in for a smaller size in February. Best of luck to us both!!!

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