I think I may have mentioned this in an earlier post, but now that I’m coming up on week 3 post-op, I’m really struggling with the loss of food.
I just started eating puréed foods, which includes egg and tuna. I feel like I can eat way less of these foods than I could of soup. I’m beyond sick of soup, by the way. But, I love eggs and I don’t usually like tuna, but it’s tons of protein, and it was actually pretty ok. I’m also just food deprived lol.
But, I want to eat more than I can. It seemed a little easier to throw away excess soup I couldn’t eat. Now that I’m eating more solid foods, I *want* to eat more. I want to feel satisfied– but it’s in my mind. My body is full now, and that’s all I can eat. Literally. Just a few little bites. But, in my head it’s not enough.
There’s a disconnect between my mind and my body now. I guess maybe there always has been, because to me, being satisfied, was eating way too much. I didn’t need that much food, I just wanted it on an emotional level. Now that I can’t have it, it makes me feel sad.
I know I have to figure this out, in order to be successful. It actually scares me a little bit. I don’t want to screw this up, and I’m so worried I’m going to fail at this.
I am only down 3 lbs this week, which is on track for losing 10lbs/mo, which is what I can expect to lose. But, it worries me that the weight loss has slowed down. I know I’m still losing, and should be happy, but I’m not.
So, overall I’m just struggling a bit today with this new lifestyle. I know this was to be expected, but it doesn’t make it any easier.