Emotional 

Feeling super emotional and not in a good place. Doesn’t help that it’s nearly 3a and I haven’t slept a wink yet. 

Started as a sleepless night, has turned into stomach troubles and obsessing. 

Obsessing over every little thing. 

I’ve gorged on plastic surgery before and after’s for hours now. Convinced I’m going to need far more plastic surgery to look halfway decent than I’ll ever be able to afford. 

Feeling wholly inadequate at the moment. 

My goal has always been to better myself and beat myself and go further than I thought I was capable of. I’m working so hard, meeting and exceeding goals, but still not feeling satisfied. 

I’ve always been afraid of “contentment” because I never want to settle. I feel like never being content is what pushes me to do more. But, I guess sometimes there’s a downside to never being satisfied or content in life. 

Im sure this will pass, but in the moment it’s feeling rather heavy on my soul. 

2 thoughts on “Emotional 

  1. This is so sad to read. It is ok to learn to love yourself, I think people who are ‘granted the gift’ of loving themselves straight off can eventually become a little vain and self centred. A fitness journey is all about it’s ups and downs, but I think even you know, that it doesn’t HAVE to be as bad as this.

    Contentment isn’t about settling at all if you don’t want it to be, contentment is more about self love. I would say I am content with myself and body right now but that doesn’t mean I’m settling thats for sure. I’m still striving to be the best I can be, along with all the downs to come. And just because i’m ‘slim’ doesn’t mean I haven’t worked hard to get here, I feel people dismiss me and my thoughts about self love because I’m of a slim build at the moment and ‘I have it easy’.

    Chin up and know it’s all a mental game. x

    http://www.lexilife95.wordpress.com

  2. It will pass. I am sorry you’re feeling this way. You are beautiful, Tif. You’re gonna be just as beautiful without 10 surgeries to remove skin. This truly is one of the down sides if weight loss surgery…you lose quickly and your skin doesn’t have enough time to adjust…but, you’re healthier!!! You have done so amazing, don’t let the thoughts of what if eat at you right now! Focus on how awesome you’ve done!!!

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