Weigh-DayWednesday

Day 4 being back on track, and I had my mid-week check-in this morning

<Drumroll please>

I am down 8.2 lbs since Sunday!!! 

Please note this loss is due to the first week back on low carb along with suspected water weight. 

Nonetheless I am super excited with the progress I’ve made!!! When I jumped on the scale last weekend and saw 269 I was quite literally a bit shocked. It was extremely jarring. Being back down to 260.8 feels much better, and gives me a lot of motivation to keep going! 

Little upset that I overslept this morning, and did not have a chance to take my morning walk or do my morning meditation. Now it’s evening, but so far I haven’t talked myself into walking yet. 

Despite being a little discouraged about my motivation, I’m really trying to continue focusing on the positive. So far cals/carbs are better than yesterday, protein is good, and oh, yah– I lost 8.2lbs in 4 Days!!! 

Now I just have to be consistent and get back to walking, and also finally start adding my videos and weights in. Also within the next week, I believe I start adding my elliptical in too. Very short intervals at first, as it kills me and I’m super out of shape. But I’ll build up. 

Consistency is key!!!! 

Day 3 – Getting my groove backĀ 

It’s my third day being back on track with my eating and exercise and I am feeling great! 

Today I was ever so slightly over the calorie goal I set for myself (1436 vs 1400) but I was only at 30 carbs for the day (goal was 40, as I’m working my way back down to 20) and I had 129g protein šŸ™‚ i also not only did my planned morning walk, I threw in an evening walk too! 

So I walked over 2 miles outside today, burning over 500 cals (approx/allegedly). 

Oh! I also blew away the small step goal I set for myself, as I’m trying to work back up there as well. Goal was 4000 steps, so far I’m over 6500. 

I also did my morning meditation with affirmation and I will get my evening meditation in before bed. 

Tomorrow is my mid-week, make sure I’m on track weigh-in. Goal for this week was only to lose 1lb, as I knew I wouldn’t be 100% on point yet. I’ve already lost that in water weight, so feeling pretty good about Sunday’s official weigh in. 

All in all I’m really feeling very positive about my progress and life in general. I think my change in attitude and actively working to be kinder to myself is really, really making a huge difference. 

I can’t wait to start seeing results again! 

Moment by momentĀ 

Losing weight and making the right choices are a moment by moment struggle for me some days. 

I’m +60 lbs down, with 120lbs to go. I was (am) morbidly obese. I got into this situation because of my issues with food. 

I’ve never been a normal weight my entire life. In 3rd grade a classmate made up a song about how fat I was, which I still remember to this day. Actually, it was how ugly AND fat I was. 

In high school, I lost weight and was the closest I’ve ever been to a “normal” BMI. But, for high school, that was still super fat. I’ve always been the fat girl. 

The lowest I ever got was 135lbs (I am only 5’3″) and that was in high school. Size 10– still double digits and very “HS fat”. It also didn’t last long. I couldn’t maintain. 

I’ve never been able to maintain by being healthy. From about 12-21/22 I was bulimic. It took me a long time to be able to say that. That was how I got to 135 lbs. that’s how I mostly stayed around 150-160lbs. I’ve never known how to just eat like you’re supposed. I’ve always binged, purged. After I quit purging (lots of therapy), I never learned how to quit binging. 

I’ve had two weight loss surgeries and feel like a complete failure. The lapband gave me nothing but issues, so I revised to sleeve. I’m down less than 70lbs in a year. That is not considered successful. 

I’m going to my one year follow up with the surgeon on February 16th (one year, to the day) and today I almost threw up I was so stressed about going to see him. 

I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I cannot consistently follow an appropriate eating plan. To be honest, I wish sometimes I could be bulimic again. Or anorexic. Tried that for awhile, but then I finally was successful at making myself purge and food is way better than no food. Although I still used to go days without eating. Now I try to do liquids to reset, and I can’t last a day. 

It’s disgusting and pathetic. I’m disgusting and pathetic. 

If I eat on track, and exercise, I lose weight. It’s not hard!!! Yet, it feels like the absolute hardest thing in the world for me!!!! 

I don’t know how to overcome this. I’m literally at a loss. I do not want to be this fat, obese person the rest of my life. I’m tired of struggling and I’m tired of fighting every single day. 

Paper and penĀ 

Been struggling to get and STAY under 250. Currently I’m back up to 254. So, tryig something new– or, old? Going back to basics!!!

I’ve started tracking weight, cals, exercise on my planner, like in olden days. I think weighing daily and recording it, manually recording my cals and macros and exercise and being able to see it in one place, in one shot will help. 

I’m also going back to basics in my diet. Started today on clear liquids, and will progress back to (healthy) solids over the next 10 days. 

I have already committed to taking the puppy walking this Sunday (about a 3-mile hike) and I’m trying to get my focus back. 

I’m not quitting, and I will be successful in losing the rest of this weight! I’ve come too far to quit now! 

Lovers Key

Sunday Funday alert! Today the hubs, the bubs (puppy), and I went to Lovers Key state park and walked the black island trail, which is about 2.75 miles long. 

  
We certainly didn’t set any records, but we had to stop along the way for puppy breaks and of course photo ops! 

The last 2 Sunday’s we’ve gonna to the Naples Botanical Gardens, but this weekend I thought It would be nice to do something different. 

I love that I’m becoming more active again! I *want* to be active and get up and get moving, instead of spending a lazy Sunday on the couch, accomplishing nothing. 

Such a change in thinking, and I’m absolutely loving it! 

So far today I’ve hit 2 of my activity goals thru my Apple Watch so I’m pretty excited about that. 

We’re also going to try and get in another walk around the neighborhood this evening, which my goal is to start walking 3 times a day (before work, on lunch, and in the evening before bed). 

This, plus continuing to work on my elliptical should really help the weight loss. My struggle will be limiting my eating like I should be. I haven’t eaten off plan, but I have eaten too much. I def struggle with getting munchy in the evenings. 

But, I refuse to give up and I’m going to keep fighting the good fight! 

2 minutes…Ā 

Two minutes… Doesn’t sound like a lot, does it? But, that’s about how long my fat ass can stay on my new elliptical right now. Isn’t she a beauty:

  
I bought it because we moved and there’s no gym nearby now. And I choose an elliptical specifically to challenge myself. 

I had no grand visions, but I had hoped to be able to last 5 minutes at a time… Not so much. Two minutes and I’m dying. Legs are dying, heart rate is up. *sigh* 

But, I’m jumping on it several times a day, and all start trying to push for 3 min next week. It may not be much, but it’s something. It’s better than sitting around on my behind all day. 

I’ve also decided to start walking the neighborhood. I think during lunch I’m going to shoot for a 20-min walk. That will help too… Every little bit counts.

BMI

Happy to report my BMI is down ~10 pts since my highest weight earlier this year. 

  
It feels great to see progress in other ways. Next up is getting into the 30s, which should occur around 225lbs. That will be a huge victory for me, not only for the lower BMI and weight, but that’s around the weight I was when I last rode my *favorite* roller coaster, which was circa 2008-2009. (The Hulk at islands of adventure, in Orlando, in case anyone is wondering!) 

Once I can fit in that roller coaster again, I’m buying annual passes. It won’t be long now!!!! 

Losing weight is about so much more than how you look- for me, it’s really about taking my life back. Getting to do the things I enjoy doing and not avoiding activities for fear of not fitting in seats, getting stares, etc. it’s about freedom. 

I can’t wait to report back that I’ve rose the roller coaster again– and u can bet they’ll be a pic! Keep working toward your goals!!!! 

Progress, not Perfection

Progress not perfection is my biggest takeaway from my journey right now. 

Hard not to compare yourself to others, but ultimately getting down on yourself or discouraged is counterproductive and we’re all different. 

My struggles may not be your struggles. I certainly have struggles, as we all do. 

But beating myself up about my lost 3-4 mos isn’t going to do any good and it certainly won’t change anything. 

  
All I can do is my best, going forward. 

Make the best decisions that I can, work my hardest, and continue to persevere. 

No one said this would be easy, but I’ve no doubt it will be worth it!!!! Stay strong, my friends! 

Take 2

With the wedding and honeymoon (June/July) I got off track and never made it fully back on board 100%. 

So this morning I have started a two-week liquid diet again. Protein powder, powdered flavored protein water, and crystal light are it. If I get desperate, I’ll allow broth and sugar free jello, just like the 2-week liquid diet I did prior to surgery in February. 

After I finish my drink, I’ll already be at 50g protein before lunch! Super proud of myself. 

I absolutely have to kick the carbs and sugars again, and I’d also like to jump start the weight loss, so that’s why I opted to redo the 2-wk liquid diet. It’s time to get serious again and really kill it. 

They say you have a solid 12-mos post-surgery, to really lose and I have not been making the most of it. That changes today. I have only 3 more months, and I am aiming to lose at least 30 more lbs. honestly I’d like to lose more, but I have to still be realistic in my goals. 

I want to be under 200, which would be about 50-60lbs down. But, realistically I can expect 8-10lbs/mo… If I can lose 30lbs by February, at least I’ll almost be at 100lbs down. That would be a good mark. I should have lost like 150, but, I can’t undo what has been done, I can only move forward. 

I intend on making the absolute most of the next 3 months, and then I’ll keep going, it will just be harder… 

Post-Wedding Update

  
Well, I didn’t lose 100 lbs down by the wedding (which was June 20, 2015), but I was down nearly 60 lbs. 

My dress did fit– as you can see– thanks to the corset back we substituted in. 

I may not have hit my original goal by the wedding, but I’m pretty happy I lost as much as I did. Every lb helped, and I truly felt like Cinderella. 

I’m definitely not stopping my weight loss journey, just because the wedding has come and gone, either! 

New goal: hitting 100 lbs down by the end of 2015. Then I’ll still need to lose about 50lbs in 2016, after which I would be at goal. 

So– I’m back from the honeymoon, and that means back on track! I didn’t eat awful on the honeymoon, but I did have some drinks, carbs, and a little ice cream. 

Since I started my new job in April, I haven’t been able to eat every 3 hours, like I’m supposed to. I also wasn’t eating as well as I should have been. 

I’m happy to report I found a newer “new job”, which I’ll start July 8th. I’ll be working from home (after a week or so of training), and not only will I be able to get back to my healthy eating patterns, it will be much easier to eat the proper things as well. 

I’m very excited to get back on my diet and hit that 100lb down mark by the end of the year!